Letting Go

Scattered,
spilled across scorched blacktop,
jump rope playground-sweepers keep time:
an early-September metronome.
I watch from my lamppost roost,
eyes low,
hands sticky
with childhood wonder,
head drooping into a book
to conceal the flush of longing.

These are our brief intermissions in monotony:
locked and loaded melodramatics,
playground politics,
telenovela conversations and
impromptu psychiatry.

This we relish; here we live
our futures in miniature.
Here we rehearse
for walk-on roles in network dramas.
Tetherball cords tangle,
hair braided around the edge of the ring
as the fiercest of gladiators egg each other on.

We’ve shaded our
crayon drawings since then,
buried our playground receipts
in Crayola crypts.
We dislodge each shard of mulch
indented into scabbed knees-
curtain closed on dress rehearsal.
Baby tooth lockets crack open at hinges,
good luck incantations sealed
at enamel roots with tiny knuckle kisses.

 

Zephyr

Wind chimes batter
one another
in a futile attempt to escape
Their relentless
keening

A fire alarm goes off
For no discernible reason
Everyone scatters

When I pretend
to be asleep
I am exposed
Every time

Everyday something trivial
Will clatter
to the ground
And make someone
trivial jump

I can’t sing
in front of people
My voice comes
Out
but it wavers

All night
And all day
A bird is bawling

Did you know
Rattlesnakes have discarded
their rattles
They will issue
no more warnings

Yesterday in line
A baby stared and stared
at me
Squalling
the whole time

I fold inward on myself
Back arching
like a
Fierce, frightened cat

 

Repress, Disaster Alike, Don’t You

I can’t remember
what was written on that
chipped chalk ceiling,
but it must have meant something,
because I couldn’t look away.

The fluorescent light wavered,
fading,
like it was grieving
something lost.

The scent of the aloe vera hand soap
repulsed me,
punctured me;
my knees giving out.

The rancid pink
of the aluminum stall
against sharpied text,
disturbingly vivid,
and so
forced.

I just wish I could remember,
what I said
and what I didn’t.

’57 Drifter

She was old-fashioned
in the most peculiar of ways.
She never saved a phone number, but instead memorized them all:
technology was unreliable.
She was the proud owner of a ’57 Chevy Bel Air, despite its having virtually no safety features,
save the seat belt she never bothered with,
and was perpetually in the habit of running red lights because she “hadn’t the time to sit idle when there’s so much left to be seen in the world”.

Sometimes it was infuriating,
but only in the way that curiously made me desire her
more.
She could tell me things about the past — things she shouldn’t know, without having been there.
And because of that very fact, I knew she would never decide to stay.
She already knew too much for one life to satiate her —

even the stars, in all their mystery and grandeur, were too still for such a

drifter.

 

Mournful Metamorphosis

Despair is…
Spring’s warm breeze,
blowing away my hopes and dreams.
Despair is…
The nostalgic violin,
that drapes the world in violet.
Despair is…
Your heart racing for “the one”,
but realizing its unrequited love.

Despair is…
Like a flower that blooms,
only to be picked and will wither soon.
Despair is…
Like a newborn’s first cry of life,
but the next day his mother dies.
Despair is…
Like this poem,
I was happy to write it,
now I’m disheartened I wrote it.

Not bigger not better

So you think you’re higher than me. You’re on a stool
You think you’re stronger than me? You’re a tool
Well screw you, pun intended.
You can eat all the crap I don’t give. I’m defended.
Cause the sticks of your words and the stones of your insults won’t break my bones.
My structure is unshaken and your cover is blown.
Don’t think you’ve got the upper hand.
Because when we get past your ego everything is bland.
This is a rant for all the people that looked me down with disgrace.
Stop living your world upside down and understand your place


Crockett high school

12th

Season Feeling

Light up my life like a Christmas tree,
You’re the angel at the top,
It’s a present to be present you better believe,
I always want to sit at the fire and hear it crackle and pop,
I fell in love with fall it’s a pleasure to fall in love with you,
I don’t mind the weather, whether or not in your presence,
I can stop and stare, and you know it’s true,
You’re the potion that mixes with my hear essence,
Touch my heart with sincerity,
When I’m with you I can think clearly, clearly you’re the one I’m seeing,
And I’m swimming in a sea of rose petals,
I can petal my way to your heart,
And you’d invite me with open arms,
You’re the puzzle we put together by the fire,
And you’re the piece I need, to every single part.

To him

I hate how you left me without saying goodbye
How you let us drift apart
You just went away
I thought you changed
But I was wrong
We used to talk on the phone every night
Now I would hate to hear your voice
You left a hole in my heart
You hurt me so much
And I hope you know that
I hate you for what you’ve done
But I know deep inside I will always love you
And I hate that so much
But now it’s time to move on
And let go

I believe

I believe laughter is a cure to depression.
Just how a rainbow & sunshine us our own cure to a storm.
I believe we are slaves to the night, afraid of our own shadows.
I believe that hard work pays off.
Because it doesn’t matter how you want people to feel about you, it matters how you feel about yourself.
I believe that half the time you pray yo God he doesn’t listen.
But he never forgets about you.
I believe been asleep is better than being awake.
But then again you’re still trapped in a different realm.
A realm that even the happiest moments can still be over taken by the darkest thoughts.
Because nothing in this earth is too peaceful.
Because this world is overrun by God & Lucifer.


Crockett High School

12th

What do I look like

What do I look like letting some boy control my life. What do I look like letting someone tell me who and who I can’t be friends with. Telling me I can’t do something just because he doesn’t want me to. What do I look like being someones little pet following them around like I’m a dog. I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t need in a man in her life. What do I look like.